My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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