STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
