so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize