I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
How does one acquire holy water?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize