yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm getting married
To pizza
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
