It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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