Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
