I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
