i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
