God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize