when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
