first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
