Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
