So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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