Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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