Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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