We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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