he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Dicks are not precious.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
