I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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