apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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