But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
