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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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