Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
i've created a new STD.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
