We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
home. puking in laundry basket.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
