Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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