She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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