i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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