he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
