i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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