Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
