omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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