I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
