Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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