the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize