Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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