Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
