your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
