Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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