there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Sorry my hands just texted you
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
