i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
