and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Never let your siblings swipe right.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
