You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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