You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He kissed a someone with a penis
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
