$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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