I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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