You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
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