How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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