Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
