You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
