youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
