i need an iv and a liver transplant
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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