drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
