I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize