Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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