He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize